Coach,

I have no fiduciary power to make this offer, but in light of you winning pretty much every national championship between the time when I had hair and now, I have a deal for you.

I know you like a particular kind of snack cake. I saw you eating it on the ESPN documentary. And while I’m not the kind of man to down a competitor, I’d like to suggest you at least have a MoonPie now and then. Maybe before a big game or after a tough practice, you know what I mean. I promise it’ll make you smile. And I’ve only seen you smile twice, even while beating another team by 40 points. I am not going to suggest that somewhere back in the day Coach Bryant would have a MoonPie now and then, but I bet he did. I met him three times right before the university that employed him decided it would be better off if I got my education elsewhere. That little in incident is a long story and it was a long time ago and they’re probably sorry about what happened, and, well, all that doesn’t matter anymore. What matters is your process. I’ve read a lot about it. And I’ve heard you talk about it too. And I believe MoonPie can fit into your process. Okay Coach, don’t stop reading yet. I ramble a little, but I’m about to get to the point.

Your process works, obviously. The NCAA has given you more crystal than a Charleston grandmother loose with grandpaw’s credit card at the local jewelry store. The whole idea of focusing on what you have to do right now and doing your job at this very moment instead of getting distracted by whatever else is going on works for just about everybody, even if they never throw a football or run over a cornerback or sack a QB on third and long. But a MoonPie now and then helps your process work a little harder. I know. And here’s why:

MoonPie, just like your brand of football has a strong tradition. Now before you tell me tradition doesn’t win games and before I agree with you, let’s look at MoonPie’s tradition. The little round snack was invented as the workingman’s lunch. Workingwomen fit that category too. My mama sure did. So tradition fits into this thing, just like it does at Alabama.

The way I see it, MoonPie and hard work go together like Nick Saban and the Process. See what I mean? It represents the same thing you represent about winning. You have to work hard and be totally in the present to win. That sentence right there is baked into every MoonPie. Well, not literally, but I’m giving you my pre-snack speech here. The people at the Chattanooga Bakery making MoonPies sure embody that philosophy and have for 100 years.

So here’s my offer, I’ll personally send you all the MoonPies you can eat in your favorite flavor. You don’t have to do a commercial of any ads or talk about it at all. This is just between you and me. Give them a try and see how they work for you.

One day, a blue chip recruit might walk into your office and see you eating your MoonPie and ask you about it. You can hand him one and say, “This MoonPie represents our team’s Process. Let me tell you a story about hard work and winning.” And he eats the MoonPie and remembers your story and then goes out every week and beats the man in front of him one play at a time and you get more crystal balls for the lobby.

That’s my offer. Just let me know.

Sincerely,

Mike

moonpiemike1@gmail.com

800.251.3404, x212

NOTE: Forgive me if you are a fan of another SEC team. I’m working my way through the conference and since Bama won the national championship, I figured I’d start with them.